As a child, have you ever experienced “friends” or loved ones making jokes about you, and when you expressed how hurtful “the joke” was, the person tried to tell you to lighten up.
“It’s just a joke. Don’t take things so seriously,” they may say.
Thank God that a long time ago my mom taught me, there’s a difference between someone who laughs with you, and someone who laughs at you.
As an adult, we may tolerate a joke, here or there, but sometimes there’s a fine line between telling a joke, and someone telling you exactly how they feel about you, in a patronizing manner or in a way in which they try to devalue you.
Your value is up to you.
Don’t allow anyone to disrespect you, and cause you to think you’re overreacting- that’s gaslighting.
With some people, if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile.
If the wrong person knows that they can get away with emotional abusing you, they will.
It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it means that there’s something wrong with them, and you can’t fix them, especially by remaining silent while they wreak emotional damage on you.
Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself, because if you continue to tolerate the disrespect, and remain silent about how their actions or words are emotionally damaging to you, then you are laughing at yourself, and not in a good way.
The joke is on you.
Be honest about what you’re feeling, and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you should not have those feelings or your feelings are invalid.
They may even say, “Get out of your feelings,” but don’t dismiss how you feel. Be honest about how their actions negatively affects you, and don’t be sorry for it. If you hold your peace now, I guarantee you that you’ll be sorry later, when the abuse continues.
You should be allowed to speak your peace, in peace.
Once you tell them how you feel, they’ll either correct their behavior or they will gaslight you. If they do the latter, it may be time to love that person or people, from a distance. Your emotional health depends on it.
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