Part three: Too much sauce
Joseph and I went on a date to revamp his wardrobe, so that he could impress Cindy Chu and Jessica Arnold. I took him to Nordstrom, but after he saw the prices, he insisted we go elsewhere. I told him that we could go elsewhere, if he tried on a few outfits and shoes that I’d picked out first.
When Joseph came out of the dressing room, women were telling him how handsome he looked. Some women flirted, and two women even gave him their phone numbers.
“Why are so many women in the men’s department,” Joseph said. “They’re shopping… for men,” I said. “Oh, for like their husbands or boyfriends, or dad’s?” “Maybe, but probably not. They’re looking to find a boyfriend, husband, or even a sugar daddy,” I said.
“I can’t believe that I’m getting this much attention just by changing my clothes,” Joseph said. “Oh no, you’re doing more than changing clothes Joe, you’re changing vibes. See, the vibe you had before said, all I’m interested in are computers. The wrinkly t shirt you used to wear told women, “go away, don’t talk to me.”
“What’s this outfit saying?” Joseph said. “First of all, don’t say outfit, say fit, it has more sauce to it,” I said. “Sauce?” Joseph said. “Yes, you’re so saucy Papi,” a woman said as she walked by with her friend. Joseph waved in an extra excited geeky way. I slapped his hand. “Put your damn hand down,” I said, in a low aggressive tone. “You’re going to run the women off.”
“Is it wrong to say hello to women?” Joseph said. “No. Gosh, I don’t even know how you’ve gotten this far Joe,” I said. “Ouch, that hurts,” Joseph said. “Well, the truth hurts. Now, the next woman that walks by and compliments you, try to match her vibe. If she’s flirty, flirt back.
I’m going to pretend to be a flirty lady. When I compliment you, say, ‘I appreciate it.’ Then, say, ‘Ms. can I get your opinion on which blazer goes best with these pants.’ If she says ‘sure,’ then try to keep up the conversation, and ask her if she has a man, if not, ask her for her number.
Okay, practice run with me,” I said.
I walked by and said, “That’s the one,” with a wink. Joseph was confused about what ‘the one’ was. “I’m saying that your fit looks good on you and you should buy it,” I said. “Oh, okay. Gotcha,” Joseph said. “Okay, let’s try this again,” I said.
I walked by and said, “Very nice, you should definitely get it,” with a smile. “Hi, and thank you.
Hey, can I ask you a quick question? Which blazer do you think goes best with this fit, the grey one, or the navy one?” Joseph said. “Ummm, definitely the navy one,” I said. “Thank you, I appreciate that.
I’m going to a business conference and I want to make a good impression,” Joseph said. “And you will,” I said. “I’m Charlotte by the way,” I said, holding out my hand to shake his. “I’m Joseph, but my friends call me Joe,” he said, as he shook my hand.
When we shook hands and looked into each other’s eyes, something electrifying happened. It was like we were seeing each other for the first time. I felt an attraction to Joe like I hadn’t felt in a while. I know he felt it too because he just looked into my eyes and smiled for a few seconds too long. Then he cleared his voice, and we released each other’s hands.
“Looking good young man,” an older woman said, as she walked by. “Wait, Char, here’s my chance.
“Thank you beautiful,” Joseph said to the lady. “Oh how nice. You’re both very handsome and charming,” the woman said.
“Oh, Lord. Joe’s out here flirting with somebody’s grandma. Her husband is probably around here somewhere,” I said, looking around.
“Can I get your opinion about something really quick? You seem like a woman with good taste,” Joseph said.
I can’t lie, I was impressed at how Joe was giving out compliments. Women of all ages love to be complimented.
“Thank you. I’ll tell you what, if I was about forty years younger, I’d give you the time of your life,” the woman said. “Grandma,” a younger guy said, while walking towards her.
“I’m sorry man, I can’t take her no where,” the man said. “It’s all good,” Joseph said. “Go with the navy blazer young man,” the woman said, as her grandson led her away.
“Me and Joseph laughed. Why were you flirting with that old lady Joe?” I said. “Do I detect a bit of jealousy,” Joseph said. “Okay, you’re feeling yourself a little too much. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just trying to keep you from getting shot for trying to finesse somebody’s grandma out of her draws,” I said. “Yeah, no. I most definitely wasn’t trying to do that,” Joseph said.
“What? Cougars need love too,” I said. “Yeah, I might be a virgin, but I’m not trying to let my first time be with somebody’s grandma,” Joseph said. “Shhh,” I said. “What? What did I do wrong now?” Joseph said.
“Well for one, you just announced to the world that you’re a 24 year old virgin, and why am I just hearing about this?” I said. “What’s wrong with being a.” “Shhh,” I said cutting Joe off. He whispered, “What’s wrong with wanting to wait until I’m married to have sex?” Joseph said.
“There’s nothing wrong with it, but why?” I said. “My relationship with God means everything to me, and my dreams comes next. I just think that sex can be a distraction if it’s not between a husband and wife.
From what I’ve seen, it complicates things. I just want to be led by God, and keep my focus on accomplishing my dreams,” Joseph said.
Ouuu, it was something about Joe talking about God that turned me on. I had to repent immediately. It also turned me on that he’s a virgin. I had to fight to keep my mind out of the gutter, because seeing him in those grey pants and navy blazer, made me want to turn him out.
He was right, sex is a huge distraction. I had to stay focused on the million dollars.
I took Joe to get his hair cut, and when he walked into the Love and Success mansion, all eyes were on him. His waves were on swim, his beard was neatly trimmed, his fit was on point, and his size 13 suede loafers added too much sauce.
He was dripping, and everybody in the house mouths were dropping.
Joseph got the dates with Cindy Chu and Jessica Arnold. He couldn’t decide which woman he liked most.
Ten days before the finale, I was voted off of the show. Cindy and Jessica knew the bond that me and Joe shared and they saw me as a threat. I don’t know for sure, which of the six women and six men voted me off, but I’d hate to think that Joe was one of them. I don’t think he’d do me like that.
Perhaps I’ve been allowing what I feel for Joe to blind me to the fact that this is just a game. A game to convince the world that we’re something we’re not. It’s giving social media vibes, and I hate social media. I deleted my Instagram account three years ago for this very reason.
All of Joe’s talking about God did inspire me to seek a relationship with Him. Maybe a relationship with God could save my relationship with my mother. It would definitely take a miracle.
Shubricca L Bell 