The “water under the bridge” is brewing.

For the most part, today has been a beautiful, calm, and relaxing day. I pray that all is well with you, and yours. I’m blessed, and God is good. I’d like to keep the positive momentum going, and post deep, inspirational, or scriptural quotes, but I’m battling something mentally and emotionally… Although I want to put on a happy face, or be this person who always takes the high road, or be the person who always has the right words to say, I don’t feel like that person right now.

I don’t want to be a person who’s in their feelings, because I’m an advocate of the opposite, however… lately, I’ve wondered about some things. When we take the higher road, are we truly overcoming our obstacles? When we forgive, is it truly water under a bridge, or is it really a hurricane brewing, and when things get heated, that “water under the bridge,” rise up, and destroys everything in its path. If you don’t mind, lend me your ears, as I send this virtual scream. Thanks, I feel better already.

Sometimes, you just have to let it all out. A scream here, a few tears there… It’s so not okay to put on a facade as if we’re always okay. We’re human and it’s healthy to feel. It’s not healthy to stay in our feelings, but we should definitely feel what we go through. 

Feeling those feelings of frustration, sadness, confusion, anxiety, anger, or any emotion that we’d consider negative- helps us sort through our issues. This is the only way to tackle the root of our problems, before that water brews into a hurricane. Feeling is a part of being human. If we didn’t need feelings, God would have created us without emotions. Feeling those emotions we’d rather ignore, shouldn’t make you feel guilty. 

These emotions should remind you that you’re human. No matter how many life quotes, sound advice, or scriptures we read, if we don’t tackle the reasons we’re feeling some type of way, we’ll never heal or grow. There are so many broken people, who spend their lives portraying they’re whole, when they’re really falling apart. So, I ask you again, when we take the higher road, are we truly overcoming our obstacles? When we forgive, is it really “water under a bridge?”

If we are taking the higher road to avoid the source of the problem, then we aren’t overcoming the issue at hand. If we say that we forgive, but we don’t forgive like Christ, then it’s water brewing beneath our bridge. Before the wrong triggers come and cause the rivers of rage to rise up, we need to ask the Lord for help.

We can’t take the high road without Christ. If we try to do it alone, we’ll just suppress some things, and end up carrying around a bag of something toxic. We can’t forgive completely, if we don’t follow Jesus’ example of what forgiveness truly is. I’m not going to lie, forgiving stings like hell. People love to say how forgiveness sets you free, but they don’t tell you that before you’re free, it’s going to burn. 

You have to fight through every wrong committed against you. You have to fight through all those negative emotions. Forgiving is freeing, but it’s also painful. Sometimes, you want swift justice, but God said, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” Sometimes, we just want to feel what we’re going through, and that’s 100% okay, but staying in those feelings without sorting through them in a positive way, is dangerous.

Don’t ever give in to the fullness of anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness, or any emotions of the sorts. Go there, but don’t stay there. Staying there is too much of a burden for you to carry alone, which is why we have to learn to let go of things beyond our control, control what we can (how we respond to said things), and give God all of our problems. The Bible tells us to cast our cares on the Lord, because He cares for us. Lately, my problem is, I’ve been caring too much (and not in a good way). 

I haven’t cast the fullness of my “cares” on Jesus, they’ve been brewing beneath the bridge, but starting tonight, I’m going “under construction.” I’m asking God to give me the strength and the wisdom to accept that I can’t change everything, but I am responsible for how I respond. Will I allow what I can’t change to change me? No, unless it’s for the better. I’m going to take some me time, to sort through some things. 

I spend my life trying to keep others on the right track, and I don’t always face things head on as I should. That’s changing now. I can’t pour from an empty cup, so I’m allowing myself to feel for a moment, so that I can sort though my inner issues. The only way for me to live a happy fulfilled life, is to live an honest life. Truth is, I’m kind of jacked up emotionally, and mentally, my head isn’t always “in the game,” but I’m a work in progress.

I am human.

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