Lust and infatuation part 6 (final)

Broken things can become whole again, when God is the builder.

TJ

The only one in pain and suffering is me,” I said to myself, but then I looked over at Nessa. She has to take Percocet because of the nerve damage from the accident. Sometimes I want to take two or three just to momentarily escape this hell I’m in. I mean, how did we even get here? I thought that we were happy. 

I asked her why, and she told me that she didn’t know at first, but after questioning her a few more times, she finally admitted that she wasn’t happy. She said that she felt trapped. “I love you, but I didn’t love our life,” is what she told me. I told her that we were just going through a minor financial situation, and that’s when she fully admitted that she wasn’t sexually satisfied. Damn. 

You know how that made me feel? I felt like nothing. I felt like she’s been faking our entire relationship even before marriage, because she has never complained. To be fair, I never asked her how she felt. Whenever I got mine, I assumed she did too. 

Looking back, it was kind of selfish, but I had so many other thoughts going through my head during that time. I was trying to figure out how to keep my family afloat. “Why couldn’t you just tell me? We can talk about anything,” I said. “We were already going through financial problems. 

I didn’t want to bring that up. I didn’t want you to feel less than a man,” she said. “Less than a man! Really Nessa! Instead of being truthful, you think that sleeping with another dude is supposed to make me feel what?..

More than a man? That shit hurts, Nessa! But what really hurts is the fact that you felt like you couldn’t talk to me,” I yelled. “I was trying to protect you,” she cried. “Protect me?” I said, with a laugh. 

I was over it. I really wanted to leave Nessa, but the God in me wouldn’t allow me to. Especially while she was physically going through. I had to be there for her, and I have been, but it’s been toxic, and I don’t know how long I can hang on. That’s the crazy thing about being a man; we have to man up through everything.

I need comfort too though. I need peace. I need someone who I can trust. I need someone to heal this hole I have in my chest. I’m hanging on by a thread, and the only one who can save our marriage is God. 

I finally put my emotions to the side and began to seek Him. Staying in my feelings hasn’t changed the situation, maybe faith will. After six weeks of physical therapy, Nessa had enough strength to resume normal activities. Two weeks after that, we were in court for the lawsuit Christian filed against me. After our first day in court, a woman with a trench coat, shades, and a scarf on her head, came and gave me a card.

The card said, “I have some info that can help you. Call me.” I called the number and the woman told me to invest in some company I’ve never heard of. She told me that she had inside information that the company could turn five hundred thousand into millions in two days. It sounded like a scam so I disregarded it. 

Although we countersued Christian for pain and suffering, he won the lawsuit. His lawyer said that Nessa’s accident was caused because she was speeding, and he argued that Christian was coming to help her until I assaulted him. The lawyer also said that Christian wasn’t stalking us, he hired a private investigator to see what kind of people we were before he invested in our business. Nessa told the court about the affair, but Christian’s lawyer argued that Nessa was after his money from the start. They had receipts of the one hundred thousand dollars. 

Nessa wrote him a check on the spot for $250,000. That was all we had in our bank account. She assured me not to worry. On our way home, she got a phone call. I don’t know what was said, but she was excited all of a sudden.

When we got to our house, a woman pulled up behind us and began to walk towards us. “What is she doing here?” I asked Nessa. “Baby, this is.” I cut her off. “The woman who drugged me at Christian’s party,” I said. 

“I know exactly who she is,” I said. “Yeah, she told me about that,” Nessa said. “What do you mean, she told you about that?” I said. The lady pulled some sunglasses and a scarf out of her coat pocket. “Nessa, she’s the scammer lady I told you about,” I said. 

“She’s not a scammer baby,” Nessa said. The woman held out her hand to shake mine. I looked at her like she was crazy. She laughed. “I deserve that. 

I’m Geneva,” she said . “Sorry, I had to drug you, but I had to do what I had to do at the time,” she said. “Okay, what does that even mean?” I said. “Nessa, you trust this woman?” I said. Nessa showed me her phone. 

“Nessa, I don’t want to look at your phone,” I said. “TJ, please,” Nessa said. I looked at the phone. “What am I even looking at right now?” I said. Nessa showed me where she had invested the $250,000.00 we had in our bank account into SWH. 

“Wait, this is the company she tried to get me to invest in,” I said. The $250,000.00 Nessa invested was now a million dollars. The company was Singleton Worldwide Holdings. Geneva said, that Christian had bought a worldwide hotel chain that was struggling. She wasn’t supposed to know about that particular investment, but she overheard a conversation and she invested in the company before putting us on. 

She gave some sob story about her being Christian’s bottom chick for too long, and how he mistreated her. All I heard was a violin playing the whole time she was talking. I still didn’t trust her and couldn’t believe Nessa was. Why would she put us on? She didn’t know us. 

Her loyalty was to Christian. “Listen, TJ. I get it. I wouldn’t trust anyone who drugged me either. You don’t have to trust me, but the money in your bank account is real. 

I’ve been loyal to Christian for too long, but I haven’t been loyal to myself. Everything is about power with Christian. He wants to control everything, but I’m no longer allowing him to control me. It’s time for me to do what makes me happy,” Geneva said. “So, what are you going to do now?” Nessa said. 

“I need a change of scenery,” she said, flashing her passport with a wink. Nessa thanked her again, and she left. “Nessa, why do I feel like this is going to come back to haunt us?” I said. “It won’t baby. It’s legit,” Nessa said.

Nessa refused to be tied to Christian in any way, so she let him have the clothing line. Once Nessa left, sales dropped and that label went out of business. Nessa started a new clothing line, and I started my own construction company, and both are doing well. It’s been a year now, and Nessa and I are finally in a happy place. It has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with working as a team.

Some of our darkest days have been when we’ve had money, so when people think that money will magically erase their problems, they’re wrong. There’s a quote, “Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Bentley than a bus.” That’s the stupidest quote I’ve ever heard. A Bentley won’t take your pain away, just like a bus won’t. A Bentley or a bus won’t save your marriage, solve the world’s problems, or save your life… only turning to God can.

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