I hate that feeling when the both of you know it’s over between the two of you, and yet the two of you are still trying to work it out, but the vibe isn’t the same as it used to be… The two of you try so hard to make it work because you genuinely care or even love each other, and you know there’s nothing out in them streets, but you also know that there’s nothing left to give the relationship, so eventually the two of you let go, because you no longer have peace with holding on. The crazy thing about all of this is that, even though you’ve moved on, the good memories are still there, and you go out into the world trying to find a love like you had during the good times with that ex, which isn’t good, because that means you’re not over them. We shouldn’t base our idea of love off of what we shared with an ex. Everyone loves differently.
We must speak the love language of the person we’re with. We must be open to truly getting to know new people without comparing them to our ex. The person who shows consistent effort to genuinely get to know us, deserves mutual attention. We shouldn’t be competing with an ex to see who made the best upgrade. If you or your ex is doing anything in a new relationship as a result of unresolved issues/feelings in a previous relationship, then the both of you need to stop leading the new person on, and take time to heal.
Once you’re whole, if the new person you were dating is still available, then give it a go, but don’t allow the good memories to drive you back into the arms of an ex in which you know the relationship has come to a dead end. Be at peace with realizing that people grow apart. What you had with that ex isn’t the only type of love you deserve, and that person isn’t the only person you’re capable of having a relationship with. When the two of you have complete peace with walking away, that’s the end. Don’t allow your feelings to confuse you.
Just because there’s unresolved feelings and issues, doesn’t mean that you need to go back to an ex. Just because you love them, doesn’t mean you need to go back. Focus more on self healing and becoming your best self. Find out who you are outside of a relationship. This is the only way your eyes will be open to see the right person for you, and your heart will become open to receive the true love you deserve…
Shubricca L Bell 