Don’t downplay my pain.

We’re all different. We experience situations differently. One person may go through something that they consider traumatic, while another person may go through something similar and consider it, “not that bad.” Although we all experience situations from different perspectives, different backgrounds, different ways, and at different times, it’s important to understand that we also experience situations as different people. None of us are completely the same, so don’t ever downplay someone else’s pain.

Sometimes people need to hurt before they can heal. Sometimes people need to feel the fullness of the pain that they are carrying in order to release it. Don’t be insensitive and selfish, and make someone else’s pain about you. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Sometimes, people need a listening ear, and not a running mouth. 

A person may mean well when they’re trying to comfort others, but the delivery may come off wrong. They may think they’re saying something to strengthen someone going through a tough time, but if the delivery is off, they can make matters worse. We must learn to be more sympathetic to what others go through, and stop making their pain about us. Just because we go through things tough as nails, doesn’t mean the next person will. They could go through that thing and totally break down, so we must choose our words wisely, and don’t compare how well you handled a situation to how poorly they’re handling a similar situation. 

No situation is 100% the same because we are all completely different people. If someone was violated in any way, or has experienced something they consider traumatic, don’t shrug and say, “It happens,” or don’t try to excuse their pain, or downplay their feelings… Let them grieve, their way. It’s okay to allow people to go through the motions of what they’re dealing with. You don’t have to throw them a pity party, but you can listen to them. 

It doesn’t matter how you personally handled a situation, if you’re only boasting about it instead of trying to help the individual heal. Boasting and comparing your situation with theirs, makes their pain about you… again, it’s not about you. You don’t need to hate who they hate, or get revenge on the person who harmed them, but let them hurt, so that they can heal. Be a hug. Be listening ears. 

Be a prayer warrior on their behalf. Be an inspiration and a supporter, but never ever, downplay someone else’s pain. No one should ever feel like they’re in a situation alone, or if they’re somehow being overly dramatic about what they’ve been through or is going through. This is dedicated to anyone who’s going through anything. It doesn’t matter if the trauma happened yesterday or fifty years ago, do what YOU need to do to HEAL in a healthy way.

Cry if you have to. Scream if you need to. Speak with a counselor if you want to. Do what you need to do for you, and know that you are never alone. God bless you! ❤️

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