Picking up the pieces : How to heal a broken heart.

We were made to love because we were made from love. God is the definition of love. So, it’s no secret that from the time of birth love is what we crave the most. It’s something we cannot live without because living without it literally sucks the life out of a person. Matthew 22:36-40 New International Version (NIV)

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” We must love each other genuinely (see Romans 12:10). What happens when we don’t follow these scriptures? Someone ends up with a broken heart. You know, the thing that sucks the most about dealing with a broken heart is, you may not have caused it, but you’re left with picking up the pieces, but my dear friends, freight not, for you are not alone. Mending your broken heart can be done, with God’s help. You must deal with the root of the problem first, and dealing with the root hurts because there’s some things that needs to be pulled up and destroyed, that may “feel” better left alone, which is why most people opt for temporary relief when their heart has been broken, instead of tackling the source of the problem and taking time to heal. Many people feel like they don’t have the time it takes to heal, they want something quick and satisfying that will take the pain away at the current moment, so what do they do? They find another person to replace the one that they lost, but this is dangerous for the very fact that, jumping into a relationship when you’re not over your last one means you’re transferring baggage and that is toxic. Others feel like if they ignore the pain and just move on, things will get better, until that pain comes knocking on their door and they can’t ignore it anymore. The pain begins to show up in new relationships and it’s not limited to personal relationships either. If not dealt with correctly, that pain can destroy a person’s life. So, in order to get over a broken heart, one of the first things a person must stop doing is looking for another person to be their pain reliever, instead, one must look to God. Psalm 37:4, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Listen, it doesn’t matter how many people you try to replace the one you lost with, those people will never be that person (thank Jesus) and you can’t get the closure you need from your past, with someone new. Only you can close that chapter by allowing God to strengthen you. You must accept His help and stop wallowing in your pain. I remember the first time I’d recognized how much I’d grown when it comes to the matters of the heart. I was trying to get over someone and was tempted to go back to my old ways, which was like most people, by finding a temporary pain reliever. Let me just say this too, not all people try to replace people with people, some try to replace people with drugs, material things, and some people do the right thing and heal without a “temporary pain reliever” if you will. The latter hurts the most, but with God, it gets better. Anyway, when I realized my personal growth, this scripture came to mind. 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” The main thing out of this scripture was that my understanding changed. Once my understanding changed, my thoughts and actions changed. You see, a broken heart can leave a person not only in pain, but confused. After taking some time (a long time) to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, I begin to learn more about myself with every piece that I had to pick up. I had to learn who I was outside of being with another person, and I came to accept me and love me without feeling like I needed validation or identity from another human-being. Thank God that His Spirit was always right there with me, helping me to pick up those shattered pieces, and put the puzzle of my heart back together. It’s a difference when God helps you rebuild, compared to trying to do it on your own, and His difference, makes all the difference. It’s what keeps you from resorting to your old ways when a memory of your past pops into your head, or when someone pushes a button that used to set you off, or when a present situation triggers certain emotions… The Spirit of God keeps you level headed and reminds you that His Word is your truth and you are not alone. Psalm 34:14, “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

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